My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
