So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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