quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
