In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
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I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
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The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize