What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize