another moral hangover. fuck.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
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I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
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I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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