I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
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i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
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I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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