Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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