were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
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at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
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I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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