There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
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I am midnight drunk by noon
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
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This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Randomize