9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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