he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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