I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize
