Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
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I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
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No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.