Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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