Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize