Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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