Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
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He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I want her autograph on my taint
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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