Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
