ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize