Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
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Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
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I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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