I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
