My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I AM VODKA MAN
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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