i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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