if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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