You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize