The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
