did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Floor bacon is actually really good
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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