Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
