I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.