I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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