Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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