So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
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I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
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I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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