I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
