oh god the rape fog is back!
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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