I'm drive I can fine osifer
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
They should really pass out barf bags in church
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.