***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this