Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
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At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
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Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?