fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
