so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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