I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
