it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
dude. I can hear the air.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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