I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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