Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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