That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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