You're so nebulous sometimes
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
