i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just pee around me
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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