Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Congratulations! We have a period
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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