those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
