That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
