dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.