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he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
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