Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18