Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?